Alcoholism and where to start
Well, I guess I could start here…Me, I am Chris and I am a recovering alcoholic.
Everyday is a struggle, it never gets easy.
Well, I should say it gets better one day at a time but sometimes not so much.
There is so much to deal with on this subject that I could write a book on it and the stupid, crazy, insane, fun, ect. ect.
that I did while drinking.
Anything from the hard stuff to the easy stuff like wine. I call it easy because it was more like drinking cool aid more than anything
and it went down even easier.
Beer was my favorite though. Icehouse to be exact. And no where near what many would consider “safe levels” of it.
I consumed so much beer that I never fell asleep or woke up. I always passed out or came to. At least that is the way it felt like.
I’m not a so called expert on the dangers of alcoholism but as a recovering alcoholic I can only talk about my experiences
with the stuff. So this is my point of view on how, why, where it affected me. So, this is going to be a mini series like of a post
here on my site.
I’m not going to make it my focal point of my site but I live it each and everyday. Remembering what it did to me and those
around me. How I drank, even at work!! Yes, I said work. Why I drank….When I drank, how much and so forth and so forth.
Some of what I write about some will say I am full of it or he’s exaggerating but believe me, nothing I write about will be false.
The functional drunk
Did I say functional? I meant, I thought I was functional.
Let me start by saying that if most people out there drank the way I did at work or even behind the wheel….let’s just say, most
would be dead or in jail. I am so surprised I never went to either place.
Let’s start with work seeing how that is where most of my alcohol was consumed.
Now, for those that know me…Family, friends, loved ones or even co-workers….what I am about to divulge might scare you! I’m
not writing this to do that but in the process it may.
Let me give you a small look into just a few years ago…
I was working for an electrical contractor. I was working on a new hospital.
Here’s where some of ya’lls jaw might hit the floor!! I probably had in just one day (of work) almost 18-20 12oz Icehouse beers.
No lie. And that was just at work. that does not not include the 6 pack of 16oz tall boys I would consume from the time I woke up
till the time I rolled through the check point gates! Yep, 1 or 2 in the morning as I got ready for work and the 3 or 4 on the way.
I had a huge mug I carried onto the job and in the contained my brew with a 12er in my truck on ice.
Periodically I would meander my way out to my truck and fill up when my mug got low.
At break and lunch was slam time. It was not easy to slam beer for me. I was never one of those who could drink one is one gulp.
I WORKED LIKE THIS!! I bent conduit in the hellish of heat, talked with my boss and co-workers. Hell, even talked with the
general contractors while buzzing from the beer. Nobody flinched or even said ANYTHING about smelling beer on me!
After work was party time! I would hit the 7-11 to get me another 6 and when getting back home get more and throw them into my
cooler which I left in my truck, usually a 12 pack or maybe just another 6 pack. I saved a few for the morning time, of course.
Sometimes I would go into work a few minutes late because I had to stop by the store to get more beer for the morning until
I’m not making this stuff up folks and I am not exaggerating!
Functional, yes…In my eyes I was. Everyone around me never blinked an eye. I did what I was told and got it done in a timely
manner and it was better than most of what the others on the job was installing. This is a fact folks, not some half drunken BS.
I have witnesses! Ask them.
Now, this was just a sample of the crap I pulled at work.
There were other companies I drank at and most of the time, got away with it.
I really did not start drinking heavily on the job until 2003-04.
Like I said “most” of the time I got away with it and sometimes not.
Nonetheless, nobody ever got hurt by me or I myself never got injured because of my drinking on the job. LUCKILY!!!!
Yes, I am knocking on my wooden desk as I type, counting my lucky stars.
Not sure who was looking down on me at the time…Whether it was my Dad or my Father, someone was watching out for me.
Apologies to those I may have endangered
I will keep this one short: I am sorry to all of those who’s lives I could have hurt while working being buzzed or drunk!
It was the most irresponsible thing I have ever done while intoxicated other than driving while impaired. (that is for another
part of my story).
Why I am coming clean
Well, for a long time I wanted to tell my stories of what I was like and what was in my head at that time. That is why this post
“Alcoholism and where to start” got started and to let people know how I was and what brought me to where I am at now.
It’s like cleaning the closet, time to let some skeletons fall out.
I feel this will help not only myself but to anybody else realize that their problem is not just theirs but is a very scary reality!
There are so many that are in this boat that I know personally but they just don’t see it or just don’t care to see it, either way,
it’s not my place to judge but it is my place to help!
I have been sober now for quite longer than I ever expected to be…no doubt about that!
Since November 6th 2011!! That over 3 years people! I don’t think anyone who knew or knows me thought I would still be
sober to this day but I am more than happy to say that I am.
Keep an eye on my site here. This is only the tip of the tip of the iceberg of what I am going to divulge on my alcoholism
and what it did to and for me as not only did it show me what can go wrong will go wrong and just how strong one can be
when “that time” come to call. That time being…”TIME TO GET RIGHT”!
Thanks for taking the time to read what I have so far as I will be posting ton of more stuff on this subject.
If you drink, hopefully it is not a problem and if it is or others say it is…maybe it is time to get help, I will help if you
need an ear. I will not judge as I have stated above. I will just be there.
Take care everyone, see you on the next post.